If You See Kay Bang: A Badge Bunny Booze Humorous Mystery (The Badge Bunny Booze Mystery Collection Book 5) by Quinn Glasneck & Fiona Quinn & Tina Glasneck

Author:Quinn Glasneck & Fiona Quinn & Tina Glasneck [Glasneck, Quinn & Quinn, Fiona & Glasneck, Tina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Vie La Publishing House, LLC
Published: 2018-09-17T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

Melanie introduced Kay and me to Granny. Granny stood about five-feet tall. Maybe, she weighed ninety pounds. She wore a pale blue linen pants suit with track shoes. Granny had been hitting the bottle hard. Either that, or she had a really potent-smelling arthritis cream. My eyes were watering.

“Can I pour you a glass of sweet tea, Granny?” Melanie asked.

Granny held up a highball glass, filled with amber liquid. “Thank you, but I have my refreshments already.”

Ah, so Rex was just getting us in the right frame of mind with his little chocolaty whiskey treats.

Granny wandered over to the railing and looked over. “That woman and her damned goat.” She turned to look at Melanie. “Did you invite your Aunt Chastity to be at your rehearsal dinner tomorrow?”

“No ma’am,” she said. “I’m sorry, should I have?”

“Hell no, you shouldn’t have.” She slugged back her drink and looked over at Kay and me. “Just so you know, I plan to be sauced from now until Sunday.”

“Yes, ma’am,” we said together.

Granny raised her empty glass toward Melanie. “You better start praying right now, young lady, that that child you’re carrying turns out nothing like your Uncle Tad.” She nodded an emphatic head. Her eyes took me in head to foot and did the same to Kay, sizing us up. “I’m going to make sure that Gladys laid out the bridal wear. The delivery man just brought the boxes. You girls can git to trying things on. I’m not sure what we’ll do if they don’t fit.” She wandered back into the house.

“I told you my Uncle Tad is staying here at the house. He’s jumping on Granny’s last nerve. She’s usually pretty fun. You’ll have to excuse her.”

“Uncle Tad is Chastity’s husband?” I should probably get a grasp on the basic family tree.

“For the moment. Uncle Tad has a lot of issues that are exacerbated by drugs and alcohol. And poor ethics. And narcissism. He has a lot of issues. He’s the black sheep while Uncle Rex is the golden boy. When Granddaddy died, all the kids—Rex, Tad, and my mom—inherited equally. Mom put her money into her education and safe investments; Uncle Rex built his oil company, and Uncle Tad sniffed his up his nose.”

“Rex is a lot younger than your mom. Where does Tad fall in that lineup?” I asked.

“Granny had Mom, then had a surprise pregnancy late in life. It turned out to be twins, Uncle Rex and Uncle Tad. As she tells it, those boys started fighting in the womb and never stopped.”

“Ouch!” Kay said and crossed her legs.

All I could do was make a horror face. One baby rumbling around under the rib cage was frightening enough, but two? Fighting? Nuh uh. Nope. No way.

“They hate each other. Hate each other.” She paused. “No, I can’t say that’s right. Uncle Rex pretty much ignores Tad. There’s no hatred on Uncle Rex’s part, more just wariness for what Uncle Tad’s going to do next. Uncle Tad, on the other hand, is just bad news.

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